Pulchritude – What exactly is beauty?
He said she was beautiful because beauty wasn’t inbuilt, it was learned .
For almond shaped eyes, they were huge. Double lids and long curly lashes, she had them all. They were blue, or maybe grey. I couldn’t tell which it was, but you don’t want to stare at them, because you’re just not going to be able to turn away.
They were innocent though, and they always brightened up whenever they were focused on me. Her nose, lips and every other thing was just as perfect as her eyes. The problem was that they were all fake. She was beautiful no doubt, but I just couldn’t accept her for what she was.
You can’t blame me, she was lying to us. I wonder how ugly she used to be or really is, because technically, this is not her real face. Like everything was touched, and nothing was spared. How bad could it have been?
I became invested for a very long time in my research on what she used to look like before she put herself through such transformation. I even became obsessed with it.
Me? I was the Queen Bee at school, at least, before she showed up. I was born with Pulchritude, an amazing body, and a sense of style. You know what they say when dressing up, it’s either you have it, or you don’t. I had it. My skin was just flawless, my body was always in the perfect shape, I wasn’t even trying so hard, like I just got like that, (*Mysterious smile) so why did they always compare me to this barbie doll? I just didn’t get it.
I wanted everyone to know that we had nothing in common, and that it was ridiculous even thinking about it. This was where it all bagan. That night, at that party, when everyone thought that I and Lee were a perfect couple.
I didn’t like him, to be honest and he wasn’t fooled, but there was no way I was going to let him date Nalya.
Yes, the barbie doll.
He was the number one dude at school, and I was the Queen Bee. It was either me, or no one else. I and Nalya were supposed to be best friends, or at least she thought we were. I played along too, but in the sweetest ways I could, I put her in her place, so in her next life, she’d be contended with ugly.
No one suspected me, except Lee. He could see right through my petty games. He also didn’t have time for diplomacy, or at least to just act gentle manly, so he’d express himself the way he felt, and made everyone believe that he was just plain mean to me, even Nalya.
They were always fighting, and she’d always protect me from him. It was kind of funny how she would push him away, someone that was trying so hard to save her from my evil orchestrations, and then hide me from him, so I’d be able to plan her destruction in peace.
Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months, and eventhough every moment she spent with me was painful, and every evidence was a perfect match, she stood her ground. No one was going to tell her otherwise, because I was her best friend.
The fact about us, was that we were alike. I may have been born beautiful, but my life was a lie. The way Nalya was lying about her face, was the same way I was lying about my life, but the difference was that she wasn’t hidding her lie.
What do you call a lie, that everyone knows is a lie?
Anyways, my lie was a lie, because no one knew.
I was poor, like really poor, but I wanted to be rich so, I faked it. I lied about where I lived, the things I owned, I’d borrow from everybody, my card always had problems, and I was always expecting money. I’d borrow from one person to pay another, so at least I could create some kind of trust.
It wasn’t so difficult though, because I was beautiful, and everyone wanted to help, plus guys lined up to pay my bills, and girls would do anything to become friends with me. My problem was that I levelled up really high. I was literally living a luxurious life, without a cent.
I managed a long time, but my lie eventually caught up with me.
Everyone was beginning to see me for the liar that I was, but I still didn’t understand why they cared about the lie I told, and not Nalya’s lie.
It was Lee that explained to me what I now share with you today.
He was busy minding his business when Nalya told him I was in a situation that needed his help. He came, not because he cared about me, but because she did, and he cared about her, and would do anything for her.
“This was why he knows that she was beautiful.”
You don’t know that someone is beautiful, you see it was my reply.
This wasn’t his opinion though, to him, beauty was more than just a pretty face, and even though Nalya had to go through whatever she did to gain a pretty face, it wasn’t her pretty face that made her beautiful to him.
Beauty to him was a skill, and something that needed to be learnt. it was an asset that was going to be with us forever, and not a liability that eventually dies away.
He told me that I might have been born with pulchritude, but to him, I wasn’t beautiful. I was ugly.
Nalya’s friends, although not that much, also didn’t like her because of her pretty face, or anything she had, but because of what, and who she was. It was all about the things she thought about, the things she said, the things she did,
like what she was doing for me, even at the moment we spoke.
All of these things are what makes a person beautiful or ugly. For me, I had nothing valuable enough to keep a friend. I that used to be the Queen Bee, with a lot of people running around me and dying to talk to me.
I had no friends.
Maybe just one. One that felt my pain, anger, sadness, shame and everything I was going through, even though I tried to hide them from her.
The truth was that she wasn’t so dumb. She knew exactly what I was doing to her, but she wanted to help me. She wanted me to let her in, so she could pull me out. Out of the dark place that made me lash out my insecurities on her.
I have no idea how she managed to survive what I put her through, or the heart she posseses, that still carries me in them, but she went through it all, and pulled me out. Now I’m friends with the most beautiful person in the world.
My name is Suzy, and I’m learning to be beautiful too.