When Everybody’s Ex is the Devil

We're the same kind of broken

When Everybody’s Ex is the Devil

I pulled out my umbrella cause I just couldn’t take the scorching sun anymore. I know I have melanin, and the sun damage is slower, but that thing burns deary. Anyway, I knew something was wrong because I could feel the piercing stare, so I turned, and yes, I was right. She was giving me “the look.”

What did you do to her? Linh asked me. I don’t even know who that is. Are you sure? I think she knows exactly who you are. I also don’t think she likes you, Yan added. You have to be careful because those eyes can kill.

Nooooo Kim, where are you going? Well, you know that crazy friend in the group that fights everyone’s battle? That’s Kim. Before we knew what was going on, Kim was already on the other side of the road confronting my “eye murderer.”

What do you want from my friend, and why are you staring at her like that? What did she do to you? Why are you so mean?

It was her. She replied. He left me for her.

What?

I’m sure she stole him from me, and now he keeps rubbing it in my face because he thinks she’s better than me.

Babe, I said, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I don’t have a boyfriend.

Don’t you have what? Are you not His girlfriend?

I’m nobody’s girlfriend deary. So who is he, and why am I his girlfriend?

We had a very long talk and here’s the story.

 

Christophe and Leah were together for about two years. Things were going okay until during the latter half of their second year. Then, he was always complaining about his family issues; he didn’t have time for their dates anymore. So he’ll come home very late and sometimes drunk too.

They had been together for almost two years now, and it seemed like they were stuck. Their relationship wasn’t moving further anymore. It felt like it was deteriorating. Leah was desperate to fix it, but Christophe seemed to be done. Soon they started to argue a lot and then fight and quarrel. They called each other names, threw curses at themselves, and did a lot of other crazy stuff.

One day he came home and told her he wanted to break up with her. She wanted a reason, and that was how I got involved. He told her he was seeing someone else, me.

See, Christophe and I are actually very close friends. I still remember how happy and excited he was when he met Leah. I was certain he was going to marry her, but then things started to go crazy. He lost his mother, his father was diagnosed with cancer, his sister lost it, and his younger brother struggled to pull himself together. He was the eldest, so it was his duty to hold the family together.

I remember the first time we spoke about his problems. He cried. He was so grateful to have someone listen to him and offer comfort. Sincerely speaking, I wondered what happened to his girlfriend, like isn’t this one of the reasons for relationships? Anyway, he was a good friend, and I was ready to do everything I could to help. Yes, he complained about his family, his relationship, the stress at work, and everything. He was breaking down gradually, and it seemed like no one could help. It’s a good thing I was there, and he opened up to me.

Sometimes just listening goes a long way. I couldn’t help much, so I just listened to what he had to say most of the time. It helped him process his thoughts and discover solutions. He started to get better soon, and that was when he decided to end it.

Every time he brought up his issues, she didn’t want to hear it, but she would also complain about her problems, and he would listen to her. She was so demanding. At first, he didn’t notice, and later, he didn’t care because he was willing to do everything possible to meet her demands, but at that moment, he just couldn’t stand it anymore. He too wanted some attention, he too wanted to feel loved, listened to, and be comforted, but all he got were more demands.

Yes, his love grew cold, and he wanted out, but he couldn’t be honest with her because he understood her position. Leah was from a home where she was constantly neglected. She’s the clingy type that demands attention all the time because she’s always afraid to be rejected and ignored. She didn’t want to be put in the same situation as her childhood self, so she fought for attention and usually forgot that there were two people in a relationship and not just her.

She was mad at him and labeled him the “devil ex” but blamed himself for everything. He shouldn’t have pursued her in the first place was his only response, so it was his fault. He should have known what he was going into. He shouldn’t have promised what he couldn’t offer. Instead, he turned her into what she had become. She used to be nicer. Now she was more aggressive and defensive. When you’ve been betrayed by someone that you care about, it hurts a lot, he’ll tell me. She’s not a bad person. She’s just hurting.

Speaking to her face to face, I was beginning to understand what he was saying. I told her all I had heard about her from his point of view, and she broke down. I also told her what I thought about her, and she understood me. No, it wasn’t nice. I’d been waiting to meet his “so-called” girlfriend for a very long time so that I could give her a piece of my mind, and I didn’t miss the opportunity to do it. She was selfish, period. To me, she was the “devil ex.”

 

Anyway, I’m about to walk down the aisle in a tuxedo with one of my best friends as his best man or best maid. (*wink) Yes, you guessed right. It’s Christophe and Leah’s wedding tomorrow, and I’ve just been ruminating about their relationship journey.

It’s actually very difficult to meet someone that has something good to say about their Ex. It always never ends well. They were either psychotic, immature, plain evil or just devilish. It’s funny how most people only concentrate on the faults of others and always see themselves as angels when in reality, they’re probably worse than the devil. Leah had to work on herself, and Christophe came clean with his desires. They worked it out together, and here’s where they are now.

Next time you decide to paint someone else’s child the devil, think first about what you too have done to them.

 

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